::::|| VU ||:::: The Right of Free Choice

From a legal point of view Islam views marriage as an 'aqd or contract. Like any other contract the marriage contract requires full and free consent of the parties concerned. The parents or guardian of any of the parties may give advice, choose a marriage partner or use persuasion, but the final decision to enter into a marriage must be the result of a free choice on the part of each partner, even though this freely made choice may consist of nothing but accepting the choice of one's parents or guardian. This right of free choice is fairly well recognized in the case of men but (unfortunately) not in the case of women. In the Holy Qur'an we read:
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"Do not inherit women against their will." (4:19)
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And in Hadith we find traditions like the following:

Khansa bint Khidhan who had a previous marriage, related that when her father married her and she disapproved of that, she went to the Messenger of Allah and he revoked her marriage. (Bukhari, Ibn Majah)
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A [girl who was not married] came to the Messenger of Allah and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet allowed her to exercise her choice. (Abu Da'ud, on the authority of Ibn 'Abbas)
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Just as any adult can enter into any legal contract, so also any adult man or woman can arrange his or her own marriage, provided that during the process of arranging the marriage there is no sexual contact, in other words, there is no dating in the North American style. It is well known that Khadijah, the Prophet's first wife arranged her own marriage with the Prophet. It is true that this happened before sayyadna Muhammad (pbuh) received prophethood. But if an arrangement by a woman of her own marriage were so shameful in the eyes of Allah as it is in the eyes of some Muslims, then Allah would have somehow prevented His Messenger from such a marriage. Moreover, there are some ahadith which show that even after receiving Prophethood sayyadna Muhammad (pbuh) did not disapprove of women arranging their own marriages. We quote here one such hadith:

A woman came to the Messenger of Allah and offered herself to him (in marriage). When she had stood for a long time (without receiving an answer) a man got up and said: Messenger of Allah! Marry her to me if you have no need of her. He asked the man if he had anything to give her as dower (marriage gift), and when he replied that he had nothing but the lower garment he was wearing, the Prophet said: Look for something, even though it be an iron ring. Then when the man had searched and found nothing, Allah's Messenger asked him whether he knew anything of the Qur'an. When the man replied that he knew Surah so and so and Surah so and so, Allah's Messenger said: Go away, I give her to you in marriage. Teach her some of the Qur'an." (Bukhari and Muslim on the authority of Sahl bin Sa'd)
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In this hadith a woman is arranging her own marriage but the Prophet does not rebuke her or admonish her in any other way. Thus while it may not be the best thing for a woman to do, if she wishes to she can make a marriage proposal for herself without being blameworthy in the eyes of Allah.

ALLAH KNOWS BEST

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